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8 Bacon Items Just as Bad as Burger King’s Bacon Sundae

by Staci Marks on June 19, 2012

Bacon makes an excellent side dish to eggs and pancakes. It can greatly enhance a burger. It even works well as a star ingredient on a BLT. However, in the past couple of years, bacon has completely overstepped its boundaries. In the latest addition to the bacon craze, Burger King created a Bacon Sundae, a regular ice cream sundae bastardized by the use of chunky bacon slivers. No matter how much you might enjoy bacon, it simply doesn’t pair well with every food group. Some dishes are meant to be enjoyed bacon-free, and are rendered grotesque by the swine by-product.

  1. J&D’s Bacon Pop

    J&D’s Bacon Pop is popcorn flavored to taste like bacon. The website describes how, instead of salvaging your bacon grease to pair with popcorn on the stove, you can now pop it in a bag in a convenient five minutes. This is stated as though there were a faction of people that actually do save their bacon grease for popcorn endeavors. On the plus side, it’s one of the least belt-bursting options for bacon misuse, with around 420 calories per bag. The company also makes bacon salt, baconnaise, bacon ranch dressing, and envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. J&D’s is on a self-proclaimed “quest to make everything taste like bacon.”

  2. Gourdough’s Flying Pig Donut

    Gourdough’s is a donut shop parsed out from an airstream trailer in Austin, Texas. It may be a simple food truck, but it has gotten quite a bit of press, appearing on a segment of Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations, profiled in GQ, and written up in Texas Monthly. They pride themselves on strange, hearty donut flavors, such as the “Mother Clucker,” a regular glazed donut topped with fried chicken and honey butter icing. However, their tour de force is the “Flying Pig,” a bacon-topped donut with maple flavored icing. So, if you’re craving an artery-clogger that combines both savory and sweet elements, Gourdough’s “Flying Pig” may be for you.

  3. Bakon Vodka

    Bakon Vodka is exactly what it sounds like — bacon-flavored vodka. Bakon Vodka was made to accommodate mixologists around the world who wanted a base for savory cocktails. Reportedly, they start with a potato vodka, distilled from potatoes. While it might work well with a bloody Mary, the idea of vodka infused with salty, fat-laden pig strips is utterly disgusting. Select liquor stores carry Bakon Vodka across the United States. The website lists a multitude of cocktails you could make with Bakon Vodka, such as the “BLT Martini,” “Pizza Shot,” and the “Loaded Bakon,” the latter of which is comprised of the namesake vodka with half-and-half, pepper, chives, Tabasco, and Worcestershire sauce. That’s good, I suppose, if you want a baked potato that can get you drunk.

  4. Torani Bacon Syrup

    To go along with your bacon donut, you can now enjoy a bacon-flavored latte using Torani’s bacon flavored syrup. In fact, this exact recipe can be found on Torani’s website. The Bacon Breakfast Latte is made by combining the bacon syrup, French vanilla syrup, milk, and espresso. Once again, bacon takes its form as a gag-worthy additive to a once-delicious morning ritual. Yet, at least bacon is being used for the context of breakfast in this scenario, which is a step back in the right direction. One 375-milliliter bottle of this bad boy sells for $6.95.

  5. Jack-in-the-Box Bacon Shake

    Before Burger King made their Bacon Sundae, Jack-in-the-Box sprung on the bacon train with the Bacon Shake. Made with vanilla ice cream and bacon syrup, it is topped with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry as though it were any average milkshake. In no way can the Bacon Shake make it onto the Healthy Dining menu, however. The Bacon Shake clocks in at 773 calories for the 16-ounce serving. Thankfully, the Bacon Shake looks like a standard, unoffending vanilla shake, and neither has bacon bits sprinkled on top nor the sickly, pink hue of raw bacon.

  6. Vosges Bacon Chocolate

    You may have seen Vosges chocolate at your local Whole Foods, as it’s a relatively expensive brand of chocolate bar that comes in a variety of gourmet flavorings. Sadly, Vosges tarnished their reputation as a premier chocolatier when they released Mo’s Bacon Bar in both light and dark chocolate varieties. On their website, Vosges describes each bar as being enraptured by “hickory smoked uncured bacon and Alderwood smoked salt.” It doesn’t matter which way you spin it — bacon is not a gourmet ingredient, even if it’s cooked in truffle oil and served alongside foie gras.

  7. Uncle Oinker’s Gummy Bacon

    Archie McPhee created the unthinkable with Uncle Oinker’s Gummy Bacon, a pervasion on the gummy candy fame that birthed gummy bears, Swedish fish, and gummy worms. Each box contains four, 20 gram gummy bacon slices. Thankfully, gummy bacon isn’t actually flavored to taste like bacon, but merely looks like bacon. The flavor is actually strawberry, a confusing sensation for the eyes and tongue. Archie McPhee’s website also features Bacon Mints, Bacon Soap, and Bacon Gumballs, all of which do taste or smell like bacon. Each box of Gummy Bacon costs $4.95.

  8. The Bacon Explosion

    BBQ Addicts created a monstrosity called “The Bacon Explosion,” which is barbecue seasoned bacon, wrapped around Italian sausage, wrapped around twice-cooked bacon with more barbecue sauce. The result is a hefty brick of fatty protein. To consume it, you slice it up like salami, showing the pinwheel of meat inside. The Bacon Explosion can be purchased fully smoked and ready to eat through the website, or you could venture to try and make it yourself at home after slaughtering an entire pig farm. The excessively meaty creation was featured in The New York Times, CNN.com, and Good Morning America.

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